| Wednesday, May 16, 2007 |
| i'm here!! |
kk pple i'm here!!!my blog is not lost k!!tho i nv blog for nearly a month...but my blog is still here!!tt means 'active' la...haha..din blog for a long long while cos my thoughts are quite messy and I can't really piece them tgt...many things to give thanks for n many things to blog about tt tracks back all the way to frenship day n all..it's just too much that maybe in the end i just kinda lazy to blog le..but xiaowen's back!!haha…
ok ever since I ended my exams, I felt kinda lost n all…hmm I duno why…but I’m afraid I kinda have this weird illness? like some mental illness? Because my course is v shiong and I’ve been v busy during sch term n all, I feel very uneasy when I have nothing to do..which was wad I felt straight after my exams…
when I do things that are relaxing like tagging the songs in my laptop, watching dvds with my sis, watching tv or reading newspaper, I just keep feeling as though these are things that I shouldn’t do and are things that are a waste of time…something’s amiss and it feels really weird…still feeling a bit of that now…gotta pray against it I guess…I dun wana be rushing around everything…realized I’m not as patient as I was in the past anymore..due to all the rushing n how I keep thinking there’s no time for everything..even during my hols!!madess..
I have changed…not for the better…I’m afraid it’s for the worse..and now that I realized that..i must work on it to bring back that better xiaowen I guess…wad’s happened to me for the worse?i became more forgetful, more blur, more impatient, less compassionate, less neat and a few more I guess..
But I thank God for showing me these areas that I gotta change in…I’m gonna have better memory, be clear, be more patient and more compassionate and more organized with my stuff!!
I thank God for the Jackie Pullinger conference! it was really one conference I will never forget…it’s really amazing…n I thank God because it is thru this conference that I realized how much I’ve worked on the wrong things as a Christian..always wanting to be a gd testimony for God and trying to be better n all..but realized that in the midst of all these I forgot the most impt thing..compassion for the poor and needy…compassion for the lost…so what if I am a gd testimony for Him and knows the bible inside out n bla bla but have a rotten heart for the poor? The conference brought me back to compassion…how I stuck my eyes upon Dr Jackie, looking at her speak n really seeing God in her, seeing her expressions just show me the heart of Jesus….and brought back the compassion that I once had but had diminished in the midst of serving…how I became more selfish and forgot to put others before myself..etc etc…a lot a lot…I thank God..really..was deeply ministered and was so touched..the Holy Spirit was just so strong there…speaking to me…showing me so many things…ok paiseh quite random tots here…that’s y I kinda stopped blogging cos I have a prob gathering n organizing my tots..haha..
Still have a lot to say..but kinda draggy in this entry le..i’ll continue the next entry..haha |
Slid down the rainbow at 2:40 AM  |
|
|
|
|
|
